"For we know that all things work 

to the good of those who love Him, 

who are called according to His purposes."

Romans 8:28

      Nothing has been made clearer to me in the past year than that God has a plan, and He is in control. I spent this morning in a meeting with the president of my school. We talked about the time when we first met and I spoke to her with my shaky Spanish about how I was interested in coming to work for the school the following year. We laughed as she told me that she truly believed that it was God who brought me to Imera. She said, "Don't you remember all the problems we had at the beginning with your visa?" I had forgotten. There for a few months, it looked as though I wasn't going to be able to make it out to Palermo - government bull crap, you know? But in the end, it all worked out. Funny how things work to the good of those who love Him. 

Those who are called according to His purpose. Things don't work to the good of those who are extremely religious, or smart, or do all the right things, or love others as they should, or witness to everybody. You know, you could live the most "Christian" life and never know what it means to LOVE God and to experience God's love for you? 

It comes as a shock to no one who knows me well that for the past 2 years I have lived my life only for me. Although, my love for the Lord never faded...it hasn't been until recently that I have realized the role that He has to have in my life. And that's ok...because I know that ALL things work to the good of those who LOVE Him, those who are CALLED. 

I have been called, people. I have been called according to His purpose and I cannot say anything but "Yes, Father. Take me where you want me to go. I'll do anything." Because I know that following after my wants and having a faith that is "comfortable" for me, only leads me to a path of regret and self-loathing. Which, is the place I was at not 2 months ago. Like I said, funny how things work. 

But, God did not call me to His purpose because I'm great, or righteous, or anything special. I'm a girl who makes countless mistakes, hurts other people, makes selfish decisions, and so on. I am a nobody! But I have been called to love Him....because He loved me. You see, God will not call you to Him because you are great - He will call you to Him because He loves you so much, he wants to give you the chance to do something great!! And in that, Oh, the joy you will experience!! 

I'm so tired of the conception that to be a "Christian" means you must always do the right things or meet some sort of standard. No. To be called by God's grace is not something you can earn. It's something that is given, and only YOU can refuse. His arms are open - God never says, "Oh, you can come into my club because you witnessed to the woman at the cash register at Kroger. But you, over there - you drank too much on Saturday night. SORRY. This club is only for perfect people." Absolutely not. 

Now, that doesn't mean that once you experience God's grace and love that you can just turn from it and do whatever you want. NO...that's what I did. Don't do what I did. There's a process - a growth and maturity as St. Paul talks about in Collosians, "You have put off the old self with its practices, and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator." 

It's not something that happens over night, and it's not what you have to do in order to achieve God's reward of love or whatever. It's a decision you have to make to receive the gift of LIFE that God has given you, or continue to self destruct. I can testify to how that turns out for someone...

So, basically, what I want to communicate to those faithful few out there who care to read my long and jumbled entries, is that God has a plan for you. He has called everyone to love Him. It's not a highly exclusive club that you have to pay membership dues to be a part of...

"You have not been chosen because you are great. 

You were chosen so that you could do something great."

-Dudley Hall

I love you guys. I pray that God begins to open your eyes and reveal to you all His good works that He is doing in your life...He's still working in your life, even if you don't see it. 

Glory be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning, as it is, and will forever be a world without end. Amen.